When the twins were 3 months old, I enrolled in an interior design course at my local TAFE. I am not sure what the hell I was thinking with a 20 month old and 2 brand spanking new bundles to tend to! Perhaps subconsciously I knew my Marriage was hurtling towards its demise and maybe it could be a career I could raise my children with. I would drop off my bebes to the daycare around the corner 3 days a week and head to class to pour over color charts, design briefs and fabric swatches. It was heaven! It was soothing to my soul to not have to think about what I would return to at the end of the day. The boys were lovingly looked after and I was happy for at least 7 hours a day, 3 days a week.
One of the students had four children and was super organised. I remember asking her ‘how she got it all done’ and her reply was (politely and with a big smile) to ‘make hay while the sun shines. Sometimes advice can be put into action straight away while other tidbits are kept on the back burner until you have use of them. I often think of those words of wisdom now as I potter around after my rapidly growing brood.
Now, let it be known that I do not ‘potter around’ willingly all of the time. I (like most Mothers) occasionally do it with whinging, disdain and hatred. I fret that the boys think this is my function, that this is what Mothers are good for-picking up, cooking, cleaning etc. how does one bestow empathy, kindness and set a good example while occasionally dreaming of running away to France under a false name and shacking up with some silver Fox frenchman? (This seems to be a theme, no!?).
Parenting is perhaps the most difficult balance of love and hate, no?
I was recently discussing regret with a dear friend and decided that regret is elemental to life. I think a no regret mentality is rather egotistical and fanciful. If you have none then you are 110% confident that EVERY decision you made was the absolute right one. I just don’t think it is possible.
I regret not finishing my Uni degree so as to have a job I could ‘go back to’. I regret making decisions with the information I had because that information was faulty. I regret not travelling before having a brood, the list goes on.
Now to be clear (even though it sounds otherwise) I do love my life. It is a very happy existence! I simply use my regret to propel my future decisions. Learning from the stumbles, mistakes and absolute wrong turns can only help you in the future if you are willing to garner what you can from them.
What do you reckon, thoughts on regret? I’m all ears…